When monday comes and I have to get up at 8:40am, I am screwed, I’ll be a zombie my first day back. I am so used to sleeping all day that it is going to be a rough adjustment. I know the sensible thing to do is to start training now to wake up early, but I love sleeping late so much that I can’t bring myself to do it! I mean, I get so much joy when i roll over and look at the clock and see double digits on the hour! Seeing it say 12:00 pm makes me smile and brings me back a little piece of my younger years when I was the sleep master. I was the baron of the blankets, the zeus of z’s, the knight of naps, the slumlord of slumber, the purveyor of pillows, the ruler or REM, the sultan of sleep! I couldn’t get enough of it, I’d sleep 12 hours no problem and then feel good about it all day. I used to sleep until 11am most days, then get up and watch Days of Our Lives with my sister and then take a shower and do whatever the day had in store for me. Back then it usually involved seeing my girlfriend at the time (aka: the “ex wife”), playing video games, and looking for records.
As I have gotten older, my beloved sleep eludes me. I sleep like shit and have for a lot of years now. I am not sure exactly when it started, or why, but I found myself waking up in the nite more often, with varying degrees of success in falling back asleep. If i get a full 8 hours I find myself thankful. On weekends when I have no reason to wake up, I will seldom get to the double digits, even when I stay up late. Usually I will fall asleep initially alright, but throughout the nite I’ll just wake up. Sometimes I have bad dreams. I used to have them a lot after my mom died. I don’t have those anymore. After RMD and I broke up, I had a lot of bad dreams about her, and I will STILL get those every now and then, but mostly I get up for no reason. I have tried a couple different things but most sleep drugs make you feel shitty the next day and I am hoping the problem works out on its own.
Which leads me back to the present. Since my surgery, I have been unable to sleep usually until close to 3am, but then I’ll sleep until 11am or Noon o’clock. I still dont’ sleep thru the nite, but I don’t wake up as much as before and I find myself getting the hours of sleep I desire. Sure, I am still tired during the day but I attribute that more to the fact that I am laying on the couch all day long not doing anything and need some damn exercise. When I return to work on monday, I hope that once i adjust, that I get my required hours of sleep despite the fact that I won’t see my beloved double digits on the clock when it is beeping at me to get my ass out of bed.
Funny how some things change, and some become constants. The girlfriend is gone, the sleep escapes me, but the video games (and more importantly – PINBALL) and records are still staples in my life. If I could just get new improved versions of the two things that are missing, I would have little to complain about aside from traffic and assholes who poorly package the records I buy from them. My what a wonderful life it would be.