Heartsick

Heartsick

For those who weren’t able to figure out my hieroglyphics in the last two posts, the alphahottie broke up with me. I don’t fully understand what happened, it was like she turned into a different person in the span of a couple days. All I do know it that is sucks, and I am not taking it well at all. The two months I spent with her were truly the first time I felt really happy that I can remember. I was so damn happy that my friends thought I was either on drugs or possessed by an alien. Call me a hopeless romantic, and idiot, a sissy or what have you, but all I have ever wanted from life was to find a good woman and to be happy. When I met her, I just had this strong feeling that she was what I was looking for. We hit it off right away and things seemed perfect. I actually went to sleep smiling every nite just from talking to her on the phone every nite before we went to sleep, and then I would wake up still smiling. I am a picky guy when it comes to women that I would be with, and she had everything I wanted and then some. It was the best and most happy two months of my life. So I finally thought, “hey, it is my turn, this was what I had been after all these years” and I thought things were really going to go my way for once. What I didn’t know was that my happiness came with a short expiration date like it was a fucking carton of milk or something. While I can take some comfort knowing that unlike my last relationship, I didn’t do anything wrong to mess this one up, but it still sucks, and it isn’t gonna make me miss her any less. Going to sleep without that phone call sucks, not seeing her sucks, not having dinner with her and her kids sucks, it all sucks. I know what some of you might be saying, it was only a coupe months and that is not very long and aren’t you over-reacting. True, but sometimes you meet someone and you just know, and while I didn’t’ see her every day, we would talk on the phone for hours, and also IM or email each other at our respective works, and I knew more about her, than I did the last girl I was with – and i was with her for nearly 4 years and saw her 5 days a week at least! So I’m left now with an empty place in my heart where it once held a growing warm spot for her, and I just have a couple pictures and a credit card bill that came which contains stuff from valentines day on it.

THIS SATURDAY I have to go to the city to meet up with Gavin O from The Faction to get the music/art for their side of the split single I’m doing. After that, at 6pm, Since by Man is playing at the fireside. I am going to go, and I could really use some friends to come out and keep me company. Anyone interested?! And if you never met me before but read this and are in the area, why not go to the show and keep the keeper of the punk vault company at at time when he could really use some?






5 comments

  • fucking shit man i know all about that, ive pretty much given up on women, no im not looking at men either, i will become asexual if i have to dammit. it seems like all the women in this state are messed in the head taken or want your heart on a spit with some seasoning salt. the best thing to do, and this is sad but it has to be done, is to swallow your hearet and eat every emotion that you feel and become blank. they cant hurt you if it slides off of you and they can see it if you do it right. they can see nothing getting to you and it bothers them. people should be stewed and cooked in a large vat and made into cookies at least then they would be worth eating

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