The Punk Vault

MXV – Friend of Nature

Last nite when I got home, I was grabbing the mail out of my box when I heard the sound of bird wings flapping above me. I was thinking, “man that bird must have flown right over my head close” though I didn’t see it. I went to take out the garbage a couple minutes later and heard the same sound and looked up and saw a bird. The bird wasn’t on the branch, it was hanging from it. I saw that it was tangled up in some sort of nylon netting. How this net got up on the tree branch is beyond me, maybe it blew there in a storm or something. Anyway, the poor little thing was trapped in there trying to escape to no avail. At one point I thought it had hung itself as it was just all limp hanging from the branch but then it tried to escape again. I felt really bad and started looking in my garage for something to get it down with. I got out my ladder, but it wasn’t tall enough to reach. I tried to climb the tree but couldn’t make it that far. I went to the neighbor’s house to see if they had one of those long branch cutters, also with no luck. I was starting to run out of hope when I thought if i could fasten a saw to a broom handle, I might be able to reach the branch from the ladder. So I McGuyver’d up this contraption and got the ladder out again. At this point a fellow who lives in the neighborhood was walking by and stopped to see what I was doing. He was a little taller than me and was able to just reach the netting hanging from the branch with the contraption I made. He cut it down and handed it to me. Then he held the still trapped bird while I got some scissors and cut the bird free from it’s nylon noose. He set it free and it limped over into the middle of the street and stopped. I coaxed it over to the side of the road so as not to get run over by a car and a few minutes later the bird started moving around better and took off. I was releived that the little guy seemed to be ok and wasn’t going to die hanging from my tree. Now the bird can resume a normal life of chirping its ass off way too early in the morning, thus waking me up if I have the windows open in my room.

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